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As of 2021, 40% of births in the United States were outside of marriage. However, this does not tell the whole story. For white women, the rate of out of wedlock birth is 28%, for Hispanic women, 53% and for black women 70% (https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/unmarried-childbearing.htm). Arguably, this is the greatest factor causing racial disparities in child welfare and overall family well-being.
To break the generational cycle of outside of wedlock birth, we need a revolution of abstinence-centered education. Parents should present the expectation of sexual abstinence before marriage to their children, regardless of whether or not they abstained themselves. They should think about what is best for their children’s future, and speak honestly about their own situation.
School and community based programs can back up parents in making this revolution. In one generation this can break the cycle of outside of wedlock births, and all of the related personal and societal consequences.
According to the Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System, about 2 in 10 9th grade students have had sexual intercourse, but 6 in 10 12th grade students have had sexual intercourse. Obviously, this is very concerning. What is happening in the family, school and social environments that is influencing so many youth to become sexually active?
Certainly, a major factor is the failure to present sexual abstinence in preparation for faithful marriage as an attainable goal. Many youth, especially in urban areas, may not grow up in homes with married parents. Furthermore, they may not know anyone in their community who is married.
Schools that present only so-called “comprehensive” sex education only pay lip service to sexual abstinence. There is no substantive discussion of the many benefits of sexual abstinence in this type of sexual health education. There is also little discussion of the dangers of being sexually active.
A positive alternative is to have abstinence-centered curricula, activities and peer counseling presented to 6th grade to 12th grade students, with abstinent youth opting in to be peer counselors for their fellow students. Clubs should also be formed for youth you are committed to remaining sexually abstinent, or who want to return to sexual abstinence. This kind of education plus peer counseling and clubs is relatively inexpensive to implement when provided by third party providers.
Ideally, this would be the only type of sexual health curriculum taught. In any case, this must be presented as an alternative to all youth. It is extremely irresponsible and abusive to only provide youth with “education” that encourages them to be sexually active without explaining the risks of sexual activity and the benefits of abstaining.
We should educate our children on the benefits of sexual abstinence in preparation for faithful marriage. Simultaneously, we should point out the direct relationship between irresponsible sexual behavior and all kinds of societal chaos, such as increasing suicide rates among youth, poverty, sexual confusion among youth and young adults, and crime.
Our organization, Urban Life Training, provides abstinence-centered curricula and many other resources at urbanlifetraining.org.
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Father Bayo Adrien talks about US, Universal Siblings and Universal Solutions. We have to take ownership of the problems and the solutions. Abstinence-centered education is needed not just in the schools but in the pulpits.
Father Bayo Adrien and Ayano Adrien speak at the Strengthening Families and Communities Forum, July 22, 2023.
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Jefferson County Commissioner Jennifer Krouse speaks on stopping the sexualization of children in Jefferson County Public Schools and Providing a Positive Alternative at the Strengthening Families and Communities Forum on July 22nd, 2023.
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Richard Urban describes the disconnect between talking about societal breakdown and the cause of societal breakdown, which is the decline of two-parent families. With nearly 50% of all births in West Virginia (and elsewhere) coming outside of marriage, it is no wonder that schools are filled with out of control youth.
What is the solution?
A revolution of abstinence-centered education, looking forward to successful marriage as the goal.
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During the month of June, people of conscience and character were continually aghast at the public displays of debauchery. But going deeper than protesting drag queen shows and all sorts of displays of moral and sexual dysfunction, what is the way forward to solving the breakdown of society?
All of society’s ills are the result of the breakdown of the family. Specifically, this means that when married men and women aren’t raising children within the confines of the family, societal breakdown occurs. Even in high crime inner city neighborhoods, 95 percent of children who grow up in stable two-parent homes do not become delinquent.
LaVar Young reports in his Blog:
"compared with "traditional families," parents of fragile families [families where the parents are not married] are more likely to have become parents in their teens, more likely to have had children with other partners, more likely to be poor, suffer from depression, struggle with substance abuse, and to have been incarcerated. They are also disproportionately African American and Hispanic.
Of the highest concern is what this means for the child, because as the number of fragile families increases, so do the number of children exposed to the unstable environments that they foster. Fragile families are shown to have harsher parenting practices and fewer literacy activities, and children of such families produce lower cognitive test scores and a have a higher incidence of aggressive behavior.
Furthermore, previous research demonstrates that children who live apart from one of their parents at some point in their childhood are twice as likely to drop out of high school, twice as likely to have a child before age 20, and one and a half times as likely to be out of school or work by their late teens or early 20s.
The consequences are devastating, not only for these children and their families, but for our communities and for our society as a whole. As a child's outcomes are compromised, the likelihood that they will continue that negative cycle into adulthood and with their own families is vastly increased. If unstable families are becoming more prevalent, the effect on future generations may be astronomic -- a harrowing potential, considering the already deepening divide between struggling urban communities and their wealthier counterparts."
Furthermore, LaVar says: "We need to reframe the issue. Rather than being about the individual, we can view most social policy as being about children and families, and the choice to make policy decisions that benefit this population."
In light of this tremendous need to focus on what is provably best for children, having stable two parent homes with both a biological mother and father, Urban Life Training is happy to promote the Strengthening Families and communities Forum to be held on July 22nd 2023 at the Peace Kingdom Center I Harpers Ferry West Virginia, and online.
The topic of the forum is “Stopping the Sexualization of Children in Public Schools; Providing a Positive Alternative.”